Tuesday, 10 January 2012

Mason's Mandate- James Bond

Leth_Local_News columnist Mason Manly gives you his take on the issues faced by the modern man.






Dear Mr. Manly,
I will keep this question short. Who is the best James Bond?
doubleohno


Double-Oh-No
I admire you for keeping your question short! Real men keep it quick, and always get right to the point. I didn’t like your name, by the way. That’s why I changed it. A true man capitalizes and hyphenates, unless he’s in danger! ARE YOU IN DANGER.
But to the point, the answer is obviously none of them. The best James Bond would break the villain’s neck in the first ten minutes with his enormous muscles, then spend the rest of the movie getting drunk and making out with Pamela Anderson. But they would have to CGI her to before she went all… well, you know.
They all have manly qualities, except for George Lazenby, who was in an excellent movie but let Bond get attached to a woman- NOT VERY MANLY, GEORGE. Everybody knows men don’t get married, because weddings are expensive, rarely involve sports, and the food is always bland.
Just pick your favorite and kill your friends that don’t agree.
Regards,
Mason “Mantastic Voyage” Manly

Manly Quote of the Day
Every book of rules written about fighting tells you not to kick a man in the jewels. These books are FULL OF LIES because they are written by OTHER MEN WHO ONLY WANT TO KICK YOUR TESTICLES.

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