Top Ten Most Likely Names For The Next Pope

Faith Inaction: Pope On A Rope?

 With the shocking retirement of Pope Benedict XVI that even God himself did not foresee, the question on everybody's mind now is simple: What name will the next Pope choose to represent himself after molesting his way to the Papacy? (Actual molestation may vary)
 Well never fear, gentle sheep! I have consulted the crystal ball and placed a call to Satan for the juicy gossip, and what follows are the top ten most likely names to be selected by His Crotchetiness.

10. Pope Urban IX 
(“The Hip-Hop Pope”, featuring Benny 16 and Lil’ Wayne)

9. Pope John Paul III
 (The third in a trilogy is always the best)

8. Pope Final Fantasy XIII-2 
(“We’re never opening it to Internet voting again”)

7. Pope Mountain Dew Code Red, Presented By Dove 
(“He single-handedly paid for the Space Vatican!”)

6. Pope Stephen X 
(Or Pope Stephen XI, depending on who you ask. It’s complicated.)

5. Pope Benedict XVII
(So we can confuse him with the last guy)

4. Pope Dawkins I 
(Odds are listed at 666 to 1, how can you lose?)

3. Pope John XXX 
(A Porn Parody)

2. Pope Pistorius I 
(Yeah, no)

1. Pope LOL
(Popular with the 18-49s)